Hello eKa Circle,
Yesterdays video meditation was on judgement and the link to self judgement. I thought this topic warranted a little more expansion as we have all suffered this trap. I know I certainly have. The self judgment is so ingrained and normal that it takes a lot of reflection to actually catch it. Going inward to hear your own inner dialogue is very necessary.
Here are some tips to clear that inner critic:
- Interrupt the thought. Use a question such as “what do I really know about this person.” This will interrupt the brainwave pattern and force you to go inward to see where the judgement is coming from. Feelings can be very deceptive, so too can pathway triggers.
- Switch to praise. When you feel yourself becoming negative or toxic shift the conversation or thoughts into something positive. Give them a compliment, fInd a genuine quality. You don’t even have to verbalise it if you are not comfortable. The action of changing the emotion directly linked to that person will assist the break in the loop of your minds association much the same way that gratitude does.
- Reflect by asking yourself “do I exhibit this same behaviour or attitude that I am judging in this person?” If you catch it then silently thank this experience as your lesson for reflection.
Judgement becomes your measuring stick. If your measure yourself in finances or social status for example you will be more affected by someone that insults you in that area. If your focus of success is appearance then you will be vulnerable to attraction or attention that you receive or don’t receive because of this. Energy flows where attention goes. There are many other examples of how we judge ourselves. I am sure if you are honest you will see the area that affects you daily. Social status, family, relationships and popularity all play a part. The area that determines your joy is the area that will be highlighted to you.
Sometimes when we seek change for ourselves in our spiritual or emotional awakening we may think we can comment or seek change for others. Judging does not require much thinking or reasoning. It requires the least amount of energy expansion- think of it as autopilot. To understand someone however takes deep contemplation, patience, compassion an open mind and heart. Judgement is our feeble attempt at creating a hierarchy. Our ego loves to feel better than or be superior over another albeit often subconscious.
“Thinking is difficult that is why people judge.” Carl Jung
Here is the thing though with the measure we use on ourselves this is the measure we use for the world. Yahusha said it like this “judge not lest you be judged.” The bounce back is very real. Once again the belief system kicks into ego mode and wants everyone to be the same. Like attracts like; yet if you are not like me then most of us have some sort of issue until we have processed our own feelings. Corruption attracts corruption, the cheater a cheater the assumption often rationalised that everyone else would do it too. Here is the thing though the internal measure rarely happens consciously but through the shaming we were subjected to in younger years. Recognise that shame is the lowest on the chart of conscious emotions and you may then understand why compassion is required. Our own personal development journey must include awareness of our own measure and morals and understand that others have different measures. To process this effectively we require compassion to self. This is all part of the human journey.
Watch this video to see where shame sits on the hz frequency chart of emotional consciousness. https://www.instagram.com/p/CY3kxd_KbBX/
Here are some other things to consider:
Social psychology- what attribute motivates another to respond a certain way? Upbringing, social status, traumas, social groups, personality type?
Projection- seeing our darkness in another.
We can only see in others what we have inside of ourselves. First we reject, then we project. In that judgment though we do not define the other person we actually define self. The irritation can actually lead you to incredible self awareness and understanding of what we actually don’t like about ourselves. Judging is all relative, manufactured as a constant comparison of what we believe. Our beliefs become part of our being and personality traits, our conditioning at so many levels such as religious, cultural, educational, societal and our own personal life experiences especially traumas. Therefore these things can never be the absolute as the other person’s frame of reference is so different.
Judgement closes the mind to diving in to a much deeper understanding.
Try this to break the pattern:
- Be open minded.
- Be curious. You can be in a position of neutral in order to have an open heart to understanding more.
- Use empathy. Grant the benefit of the doubt.
- Develop self awareness, self forgiveness, patience and time to understand.
- Don’t say to yourself “stop being judgemental” as this feeds the pattern of self judgement.
- Be kind and recognise that you do not know the other person’s journey.
“Judge nothing you will be happy. Forgive everything you will be happier. Love everything, you will be the happiest.” Sri Chinmoy
love & light
On the journey of self development.
If you would like a conscious coaching session please click this link or send me a message.
M + E
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