Hello eKa Circle,
Many of my coaching clients come in to work on one issue and as they dig a little deeper how they feel about their appearance often comes up. Not that size matters, but your feelings towards your size do matter a LOT and need to be witnessed. I have had a lot of success helping precious souls shift their mindset towards the skin they live in and guess what? Once some love and appreciation is given to the body it responds incredibly! It all needs to be done consciously.
I love working with this topic as I too have walked it. In my younger years I treated my body so poorly as I suffered with anorexia and trauma. I had a desire to control whatever little thing I could as the rest of my life was completely and utterly out of control. This then see-sawed as I was receiving attention from men because of how I looked and because they set conditions on my appearance (the same way my own father did. I can still hear his voice yelling “don’t you dare get fat!”) it triggered me terribly. I rebelled against their “shallow benchmarks” and started to stack on the weight; to keep them away subconsciously. That took a bit to process as my truth. I was testing them if I am honest; asking “how shallow are you? Do you still love me now?” All the while secretly hoping that they wouldn’t and move on to the next victim. No words required, merely a subtle observation of actions taught me a lot. It’s quite sad that “love” can be presented as so “conditional”… I would ask myself “what if I lost my legs or had another serious thing happen- this is all insane this chase for beauty that is illusive within the shadow. And yet I did it too. What a crazy world we live in, to learn these important lessons. Let’s be honest even though you look good it doesn’t mean that you feel good about yourself! In fact I have noticed a pattern in clients, those that are completely polished are often masking deep deep pain. Everyone handles things differently. This is where judgement should have no place as the old saying goes “you have not walked in someone else’s shoes.” The student in me recognises that I am not to be objectified in order to have someone else’s ego feel better. My looks should not affect you actually. My soul should. I love teaching this to others it makes my journey so worth it.
Here is a little exercise to try-take out some old photographs of yourself from different stages of your life and track back in your mind to how you felt about your self image at that time? You may be surprised at the memories that flood in. For example “I felt so fat/ ugly/ skinny/old” and yet when I revisit the image I can recognise that I most probably wasn’t- it was just my feelings that were deceiving me. Here is the thing though unless those emotions shift out they begin to form and shape the body to become the image pulled in. Some sound healing can help shift that as memories and emotions leave vibrational imprints in our cells.
It wasn’t until I met unconditional love in a relationship that I relaxed into really being me. I literally stopped thinking about my weight and became comfortable in my own skin. Yes love can heal you. I actually feel amazing even though I am now a young 56 years old. My weight has been relatively stable because I have a love relationships all around me including family, food and self. Please love yourself- every cell is listening. I have a scale free and calorie free home for decades now and my relationship with food is a wonderful one of respect. Food is not our enemy; food is in fact our friend that heals. It is the emotions linked toward association with food that require shifting. It is consciously loving ourselves enough to make the wisest choices not as a diet but as a lifestyle of change. It is long term conscious thinking of setting self love in motion as opposed to a quick fix because we don’t like what we see. This is how the diet industry makes so so so much money off self loathing. I would like to add that I love myself enough to have a treat now and then without guilt.
Lastly be compassionate with yourself for circumstances; please drop all comparisons and allow the goals to be to be appropriate and logical. Pregnancy, hormone fluctuations, cultural genetics, age and trauma all affect our bodies structure. The goal should be to feel good about your incredible vehicle that houses you. Time to thank it and give it the best environment to heal itself.
Lets begin with a few practical things you can implement:
Choose 95% natural foods- they are impossible to overeat with due to natures packaging
Introduce resistance training- don’t track your weight track your measurements. Muscle strength and higher metabolism are your goal over losing weight. Feeling strong, energetic, healthy is what you lean into. Please know that muscle weighs more than fat and so the scales go up when you start to do resistance training but your measurements go down.
Stretch then rest, not resting is a huge mistake. Resting assists the growth and repair of the muscle and the regulation of hormones. All aiding the body to run at its optimum.
Cut out toxic oils- this makes a huge difference! Toxins are held in the fat cell and when the fats we use are toxic that is a real problem for the body.
Use a smaller plate- this really works, it is all smoke and mirrors as we are visual beings.
Feed the emotions with movement not food- don’t treat yourself with food, this is often a poor habit picked up from childhood.
Keep a food and exercise journal- track not just what you are eating and how often but portions and how you are feeling. Look for the patterns and adjust accordingly.
Wait 15 mins before you eat seconds- your hypothalamus needs time to kick in and tell your brain your stomach is full.
Chew your food well and slowly- eating things like seeds and nuts that need shelling are a great way to gain optimum nutrition in a slowed down fashion. Just as nature intended.
Always take a lunch break and sit down to enjoy it- let it be social where possible and build happy memories around each meal.
Use your hand to roughly measure the healthy food proportions for you. High protein foods choose a palm sized portion using your hand. Veg and salad eat at least a fist sized full. Carbs limit them to a cupped hand portion and choose carbs wisely avoiding highly processed carbs. Things like natural potatoes, sweet potatoes, quinoa and brown rice are great. Eat at least one thumb sized portion of healthy fat each meal to make you feel satiated. I will pop a list below of the better choices.
Eat in a space without distraction- (if weight loss is your goal I would not recommend eating while watching tv)
For a long time now it has been drilled into us to avoid fats. I have never subscribed to the concept as one could see that the replacements were high carb sugars and chemical thickeners. I have seen drastic change when a client relaxes into this, then the weight starts to drop as the body doesn’t think it is starving. Fat is a necessary element to distribute vitamins especially vit d and e. Fat also helps us get to a state of ketosis which is where the body will burn fat as energy-win! Some of you may be surprised that your brain is almost 60 % fat, so to starve the brain clearly does not make any sense. Your body needs good fats daily. Cut out any highly toxic oils like canola, vegetable, margarines etc. You will probably not be surprised to know that they are in every single processed food almost. So by being conscious of this it makes new food choices simple, yes avoid the middle aisles of the supermarket or better yet shop at a growers market…if it is homemade go for it. If it is made in a factory then better steer clear of it. These toxic oils are even snuck in cheekily to products like precooked rice and dried fruit bought in packets. I recommend you read the packaging. Fat makes us feel satiated and full therefore preventing us from overeating. These discussions are not raised to only be about weight though. A thin person can be equally or even more unhealthy. The ultimate goal is good health, vital energy and self respect to manage a temple body for the body holds the spirit of the soul.
Better fat choices:
All the best on your body conscious journey. Please remember the body responds to what we tell it. Many people miss the mindful joy of their current “now” as they tell themselves they will only be happy in a new body. I subscribe to the thought that it is much more efficient to work on the body’s electrical system (nervous system) first then release all emotions that are setting the standard below joy. Then work on the body. Much more effective!
Try this…”dear body thank you for protecting me, even though I spoke poorly to you with critical thoughts and judgement. Some of those concepts weren’t even mine. I am ready to have a new mindset and show you some love now. Help me to make wise decisions to feed you well. I choose to tune in and listen to what you are now feeling. Thank you for an open line of communication. I ground into my body not my emotions that have been hanging.” the spirit that lives within.
love & light
M + E
If you would like to schedule a conscious coaching session with or without sound healing please click the link below.
Broccoli & Corn Soup
Cayenne is great for the blood and your metabolism.
1 Tbsp coconut oil
1 onion , diced
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 head broccoli, roughly chopped
1 cup fresh corn kernels
vege stock to cover
salt & white pepper to season
sour cream (if your not vegan)
a sprinkle of super dooper hot cayenne
Heat the oil in a heavy based saucepan and saute the onion and garlic for a minute or two. Toss in the broccoli and corn and smash around over the heat to start to release some flavours. Drown in some vege stock to just cover the veg and simmer for about 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly then blend until smoothish with a stick blender. Season to taste and serve with a dollop of sour cream and sprinkle of rock your socks off cayenne.
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