self love checklist

Hello eKa CIRCLE

Todays client reached out for help with her food. I love these kind of challenges. While that may seem like a basic thing to some, did you know food struggles link to emotions that are often deeply rooted? I asked her permission to share a few basic checklists here on eKa CIRCLE platforms. I pray they not only help her process things but in turn help many. I love nothing more than to be practical.

My first task was to assign a food diary- one week shows a lot actually. Don’t just write down what you eat and drink, jot down the time of day and how you were feeling. Then we look for patterns that need shifting. This reveals so much actually. Not just your own body clocks rhythms but your emotional cycles. It also reveals family patterns and habits. With some unpacking we can even identify which organ and which chakra is blocked. That in turn helps us to understand which emotions need some shifting out. That energy needs some releasing to flow so that it doesn’t “rule” us as a demotion on a frequency level.

At a quick glance I could see that the sadder emotions linked to foods that were sweeter and more carb loaded. There should be no surprises there and as this soul so beautifully admitted she often eats “mindlessly.” I don’t think she is alone in that type of unconscious eating. Often we are taught as a child to comfort or reward ourselves with a sweet or a carbohydrate processed “fast food” option. This of course spikes your blood sugars, you get a feel good sensation and rush of energy only to crash lower shortly after. We are programmed as a generation coming off the back of world wars pushing for industrialisation, cleverly promoted subconsciously with advertising manipulation. We have a whole generation of sad and sickly as a result. Food choices are our building blocks.

Food memories are often subconscious, we barely notice. We need to feed our bodies cleverly by choosing things that don’t feed our emotions. Rewards need to be sustainable and wisely chosen. It is probably better not to make food a reward to pacify negative emotions. Make food joyful.

So the first thing I encourage is for a client to think back to a happy childhood memory with food and tell me who was present and what you were feeling, then remember what you were eating. I then jump to an early childhood memory of a negative food memory, again take a mental shot  of who was present and how you were feeling. Forgive anyone in the memory so that you can now make a conscious adult decision to break free and make wiser choices. It is imperative to recognise the food type and emotion that is connected. It is not unusual for the unhappy memory to link to a healthy food choice.

What I am trying to do is make conscious the emotional connections to each type of food group. This too is consciousness coaching. It has happened to all of us right? So few of us have been rewarded or pacified with a healthy food group. We have connected the joy or fun times in life with treats that actually are not the wisest choices. This can spiral into unhealthy habits as an adult. While it is easy to see this when we speak about it, the goal is to bring the habit into conscious thinking so that we create new habits and choose food wisely. I am not even saying do not have a treat though! I am saying choose the treat for the right reason. Let the reason be loving and joyful. Use practical knowledge to make better choices…one example I gave for the choice to eat porridge as a comfort food when my client felt sad is to add some seeds, nuts and good fats to it so that you are loading with some good nutrition.

As far as food habits go try the hand method. It is virtually impossible to overeat when choosing healthy fresh fruit and vegetables, you wont need a calorie list or to weigh things out. Nature has designed them that you cannot overeat. Yet each meal should have your fist size of clean protein (meat, fish, chicken nuts, seeds, eggs,legumes) and a thumb size of good fat (avocado, olive oil, coconut oil, butter.) Avoid most of the highly processed fats as they are toxic. If you eat some carbs don’t eat more than a cupped handful. It is amazing that your hand size is designed to show you your meal size ratio.

When we listen to our body we can identify what it is seeking – with just a little bit of study and careful planning we empower ourselves for better health and wellbeing. The thing to recognise and ask self is this “is it a need or a want.” A premenstrual woman for example craving chocolate is the bodies way of seeking out magnesium, therefore a need. Understand what your body is asking for, then you can respond with emotional intelligence. Emotions asking to be fed deceive us. No amount of food covers a wave of emotion asking to leave the body. Food like any substance can be used as a bandaid or an addiction.

Which emotions link to which organs?

• thyroid- links to throat chakra it is blocked when one is struggling with being able to express themselves- this is not just with others but also with self. It affects how we hear others. Depression often manifests if this chakra is not cleared. Interestingly this organ is seen as the tollbooth between emotions and the mind. The highway between individual and universal.
• heart- links to love and joy when this is unable to be expressed we have a blockage in the heart chakra.
• pancreas and spleen- links to worry and uncertainty, ego and pride also like to hide here in the solar plexus. When this is released we will increase in self confidence and learn to create and flow in life, more able to trust God and then consequently trust others.
• lungs- link to sadness which also affects the heart chakra. If one is unable to express sadness they may suffer feelings of loneliness and isolation.
• kidneys- links to adrenal gland, sacral chakra and fear. When one is fearful creativity, desire and vitality are also suppressed.
• liver- anger links to the liver and gallbladder also managed by the solar plexus. Constant irritability and short tempered outburst show us we have a blockage in this region.
• all of these organs affect our cellular structure as the skin is our largest organ -cells made of water that hold the frequency of the emotions that we are holding in our body.

 

 

Tips to create new habits for self love:

• journal- track how you are feeling; unpack all emotional links to food and lifestyle
• dissect all emotions linked to lifestyle choices let them all come from a place self of love
• eat more protein and include healthy fats (avoid low fat substitutes) to satiate and heal
• always put love energy into preparing food or exercising- never let it be a DIE-t or something that you feed with dread or hate
• do not deprive yourself of good things like a family food feast or choosing to rest
• choose natural loving things- foods, exercise and friendships
• plan ahead as a lifestyle shift happens faster with a plan and some organisation that helps to build a new habit
• drop any association with the triggers of self loathing or abandonment
• recognise others are sent to us to mirror to us the emotions that are stuck
• listen to your body
• surrender self judgement and sabotage

I have noticed a pattern in people over the years of not feeling good enough, feeding into guilt, disappointment and often self loathing. A cycle of wanting better for themselves and then sabotage creeps in. Therefore the goal does not quite fit the minds pathway. For example the energy given to the task is not tailored for success. “I will exercise because I hate the way I look” will not have the same results as “I will exercise because I recognise my body is a temple.” Does that resonate? I have proven this with many friends and clients coached. To give your body and mind love is everything. Each little cell is listening and holding that program for you, be kind to yourself.

How to change the way you think:

• speak life over yourself until you believe it
• speak compassion over yourself as a lot of what you are carrying is generational
• choose friendships that echo this new goal of confidence
• find some accountability that does not run in emotion (usually that is a neutral person that isn’t too closely connected)
• find the childhood root and unpack it
• write your goals down
• plan some love into new actions and disciplines
• literally shake the negativity out by using movement with some music, yell, cry, scream, tap, dance or spin it out until you feel a little better
• bring subconscious emotions to the surface in a safe space using your own terms and conditions and boundaries
• seek some help from someone else equipped that practices this lifestyle
• recognise that procrastination can be fear based
• identify self sabotage
• consciously imagine how you speak to yourself being listened to by another that loves you
• break the patterns in your generation to be the one that chooses to not role model this to others especially children
• be kind- body, mind and spiritual things are all integrated we need all three worked on in order to find perfect balance

A practical checklist for change:

• shop and meal prep when you are feeling positive
• choose all natural foods, the building blocks that heal you
• implement exercise and stretching daily preferably with resistance training 3 days a week- have some practical cues like shoes and towel in a spot so that you remember and make it a habit
•  meditate, pray and speak positive “I Am’ affirmations over yourself daily
• change your reward system to experiences over things (food, shopping, substances)
• substitute all drinks for water until you have achieved your goals
• try intermittent fasting- fasting also helps cells vibrate faster and moves out negative emotions
• create a routine so that you don’t quit
• be creative, change things up so that you don’t become bored. Try new things- unlearn
• use the appropriate frequencies daily for that particular chakra region

I do hope this helps a little? A huge thank you to all putting in the work. If you would like a coaching session to discuss a personalised plan for you with some accountability please feel free to reach out. I work on a purely donation basis; my goal is to see you succeed.

love & light

M + E